Når presset stiger, tager forælderen let over

På en lederkonference for Væksthus for Ledelse for nylig genbesøgte vi en gammel, men stadig skarp teori: transaktionsanalysen. Da vi spurgte lederne på konferencen, “Når du kommer under pres og ryger ud af voksenpositionen – hvor havner du da oftest?”, var svaret tydeligt:

Most respondents said they ended up in the critical parent – they take charge, set the direction and make demands. Some moved towards the caring parent, which takes extra care of its staff. Fewer became the well-adjusted child, who are trying to do the right thing, and only a very few ended up in the free child, which becomes more playful, impulsive and perhaps even anarchic.

In short: when the pace picks up, the parent takes over. This is understandable – but it is also a reminder of how quickly responsibility and the pace of life can push us away from curiosity and equality.

What brings us back to the adult perspective?

When the managers were asked what helps them get back into their role as adults, the answers sounded like a collective sigh of humanity: “Time”, “Sparring”, “Someone listening”, “A walk”, “A cup of coffee”, “Fresh air and loud music in the car”, “A trip to the North Sea”, ”Remembering that it’s OK not to be OK”, “Yoga”, and finally:

”Brug toiletmetoden. Ingen undrer sig, hvis man (selv som leder) siger man skal tisse.”

Svaret var måske forskelligt i form – men ens i essens: Det, der bringer os tilbage til den voksne position, er tid, refleksion og relationer. Det er en vigtig påmindelse – ikke kun for ledere, men for alle, der arbejder i et felt, hvor tempoet og ansvaret let kan skubbe os ud af balance. For når vi tager os tid til at tænke, dele og lytte, er vi allerede på vej tilbage til den voksne position.

Læs også: Forebyggerværktøj – hvor taler du fra?