MONTH’S PREVENTION TOOL: PRIORITIZATION AND CHANGE INVOLVE LOSS
When we prioritise at work, it leads to change. Something becomes possible, while something else must move into the background. Priorities therefore always involve both gains and losses. And loss — also in working life — is connected to something we normally associate with major life events: grief.
Yes, it is a big word. We often associate it with the loss of people. But in a broader sense, grief describes the reaction that arises when something meaningful disappears or changes. At work, this may for example be:
- loss of time for the core task
- loss of quality or professional standards
- loss of relationships and presence
- loss of influence or overview
- loss of meaning or the experience of making a difference
- loss of professional identity or occupational identity
In an expectations crisis, these losses become particularly visible. Because when it is no longer possible to deliver what one professionally considers right, prioritisation is not only a question of choice — but also of relinquishment.
THREE POSITIONS IN WORKING WITH LOSS
The model the flow of grief points to the fact that we often move between three positions when we are faced with loss:
1. What have I lost? Here, the focus is on what is no longer possible.
For example: “We can no longer achieve the same quality as before” or “we have lost the time for the thorough conversations”.
2. What do I still have? Here, the focus is on what still works.
For example: “Yes, but then it is good that we can still…” or “At least we still have…”
3. What will I use it for? Here, the focus is on action and progress.
For example: “This means that from now on, we will have to do it this way” or: “How good it is that …”.
Vis mindreMost people are initially focused on what has been lost. Later, attention may increasingly turn towards what is still there — and what it can be used for. The movement is not linear. We move back and forth between the positions — from situation to situation, from day to day and over time. But broadly speaking, many move from the first question, through the next, to the third.
This is a condition of the work. And this is often where misunderstandings arise. While some are focused on what has been lost, others are already trying to make what remains work. This is also where things can easily go wrong when we, as colleagues or leaders, want to offer support.
Out of a genuine wish to help, we begin to point to what is still there, or to what may be possible going forward:
“Yes, but the good thing is that…”
“At least we still have…”
“Then we will just have to find a way to make it work…”
The intention is good. But if this happens while the other person is still focused on what has been lost, it may feel as though what matters most is being overlooked or minimised.
The consequence may be that the person experiencing the loss is not given the opportunity to stay with what is actually at stake — and therefore cannot move forward either. What should have been carried collectively instead becomes something the individual is left to carry alone.
It is not a question of right or wrong, but of timing. In an everyday working life marked by prioritisation and pressure of expectations, this very shift can contribute to increased strain — and ultimately to moral stress.
PERSPECTIVE
It can also be understood as a shift in the change process. In change management, the image is often used of a train travelling through a dark tunnel.
Leadership is sitting at the front and enters the darkness first. Here, they have time to orient themselves, analyse the situation and find a direction. When they see light again and begin to formulate a plan, many employees are still further back in the train — and are precisely where it is darkest.
This means that people may not only be in different places in relation to the task, but also in relation to the change itself. Some are focused on what has been lost, while others are focused on what needs to work going forward.
Seen in light of the flow of grief, this is not a problem to be solved, but a condition to be understood. The movement from what has been lost, to what remains, and on to what we will use it for, cannot be forced — and rarely happens at the same pace.
Danish